8.05.2013

In a Dating Relationship: Communication is Key!

 Marriage & Relationship Goals


I am linking up today with Kalyn and Amberly. I just started reading through Amberly's blog, and I love that she sets goals in her relationship. I believe in order for relationships to work, we have to remember that it has to do with our daily devotion to one another and maintenance within our relationship. With Kalyn, have followed her for awhile now, and I always love reading about what she is learning in and throughout her marriage. She has been such an inspiration to me, personally, and she has said so many things that I find myself saving to my notebook as friendly reminders for myself. I love how her heart  seems to need to reach out to readers through blogging, and I couldn't be happier that David {unbeknownst to him at the time} led us to each other.
As many of you know, David and I met at Junior College. He was friends of a friend, and he and I were introduced and the rest is, well, as they say it, "history". 

I was always someone who said, "I will never meet and date someone that doesn't know my family already. I don't want to stress out about someone meeting the person I like because it is awko-taco for everyone." I also didn't want to be the person that had to meet someone else's family.

And then David and I met.


I remember the first time he met my daddy. I nonchalantly asked him to ride with me to meet my dad between college and home because I had forgotten a book of mine. I tried to be cool, calm, and collected, but really my palms were sweaty and my stomach felt weird. David, on the other hand, acted like this was NO BIG DEAL! And he handled it like a champ. He instantly began chatting with daddy, after shaking his hand, and Daddy even asked me when I got home, "So, where's your bodyguard?" (David is a full foot and some-odd inches taller than me).

Then, the next week it came time to meet Mamma. I had spent most of the day doing nothing, and right around time for me to get ready for our first date, I had a total diva moment and decided that I didn't have anything to wear - throwing everyone, including Daddy, into a tailspin. He and Mamma were both in and out of my room, searching my closet for the perfect shirt, while I laid on the bed in agony over not having anytthing to wear. Looking back now, David says, "You should have just worn a t-shirt," but we all know how us girls are.


So, Mamma trailed off to town and found a few shirts she thought I may like. Mimi came over to chat with me (and calm my nerves) while I got ready. She told me that day that even though she hadn't met him yet, she had a really good feeling about David.

Once he arrived, I peaked out my window in my upstairs bedroom as he walked across the driveway and into my back door. Poor thing - I had left him alone down there without me, his only TRUE crutch, but he handled it well. He even hugged my Mamma :)


I say all of that in introduction to this: not all long distance relationships have to be complicated.

The truth is, I honestly know no other way than this - even if it has only been almost two years of practice for us. From the beginning we learned how to communicate with each other, be it text messages, phone calls, video chat, or even photos of "what we are doing now" (snap chat makes that FUN!) David and I have always communicated very well. We've had to! After graduating from Junior College, he joined the workforce and I have continued my schooling, so we don't see each other throughout the week, and I truly feel like if we had known what it was like to be together all the time - things would be harder for us now. We have been fortunate to have had to learn what being apart was like from the beginning, and basically:

communication is key in a long distance relationship. 



With everything going on today, our days can be busy. They can be filled with the mumbo-jumbo of our everyday routine that, during the week, doesn't involve seeing each other. However, when David is on lunch, he chooses not to spend that time sending me text messages for 30 minutes to an hour. He calls, even if it's only for 5 or 10 minutes, just to say hello and ask about my day. I, in turn, make sure to talk with him about his day and try not to worry him with things that have gone wrong so-far in my day. I choose to wait and tell him those things at night when he is off of work, relaxed, and not worried about what he has to do next with work. This allows us to give each other our 100% attention and feedback. While many may say, "Why would you even bring it up then? Since he's relaxed and unwinding, then you throw something that ruined your day his way?" Well, I will say it again...

communication is key in a long distance relationship. 

Don't be afraid to communicate with your man. Chances are, he will feel kind of left out or hurt if you don't feel it important to truly let him know how your day was, but choose your battles. If someone you barely know bumped into you at the grocery store and you didn't like the look they gave you, is that really something to get worked up about to him? Move on.
Let your guy know that he can tell you things, too. Be available for him. Of course, they oftentimes don't jabber away about things like us ladies do, but they have feelings of their own. Things bother, excite, and worry them, too.


I know I fail at that sometimes. I sometimes find myself going on and on about things that aren't always important. Sure, maybe David would love to hear about those things, but I need to be better at giving him more of a chance to speak out -- like he does for me. Thankfully, each day that The Lord provides for us is a new day to practice new habits, ones that will benefit our overall relationship in the long run, and I'm thankful for that because, as I have already said,

communication is key in a long distance relationship,

and of all the things I've learned throughout these last 21 months, that has been one of the most important things.


6 comments:

  1. I have found more and more people through blogging with long distance relationships! I really admire you for that! I had a hard time not seeing my man for even a day when we were dating and he lived three blocks away! Kudos! and thanks for linking up :)

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    1. Thank you! It definitely takes two people who are willing to go the extra mile (no pun intended) to make things work. However, if we had been living as close by as ya'll were - I could IMAGINE that I would have a hard time being separated, too!

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  2. I absolutely adore this post! It is so good to see that ole Dave is just the same sweet guy he was in high school, rather even more so a better dating companion now days to you. I am SO glad that he found you and you him! I cannot wait to see where your journey together leads you! Thanks so much for linking up with us and for always striving to go above and beyond in your long distance relationship! I know that it is not always easy and can be for the birds, but once you can look back and know that you withstood the odds- Love is so breathtakingly beautiful, unconditional, and perfect in its own little way!

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    1. Thanks, Kalyn! David is really good to me, and I feel like I fall so short sometimes of being good to him, too, but thankfully we have been blessed to be able to work at our relationship for nearly two years now. You know how long distance can be, and I commend you for going the extra mile - especially now in marriage. Love is the greatest gift I could ever receive, and it's also my favorite one to give away. Long distance just makes for an interesting way of it!

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  3. It is great that you make communication a priority now. That is something that will definitely pay off as your relationship continues. I think it's so sweet that he calls you on his lunch break! - Beth

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    1. You're right! We can definitely see a difference on days where communication wasn't our strong suit. He is thoughtful to do that, huh? :) Thanks for stopping by!

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