1.5 Years & Food for Thought

April 7, 2013, 

marked one and a half years that David and I have been dating. It is so strange to me how time REALLY does fly by when you're having fun. This past year and a half has truly been the most fun I've ever had. It can be found in the smallest crevices of my life now with David alongside me. He and I enjoy so many of the same things, but we are also interested in many things that each other aren't, so that keeps things interesting as well. 

Reflecting back on our {short-ish} past together, I began to think of what has held us together, and what has tried to break us apart. 

I have always {personally} believed that in order to function as a couple, one has to show interest in what the other is interested in. I believe that we have to be selfLESS instead of selfISH in order to maintain a healthy, honest, and true relationship. Sure, there are times when selfishness is okay, but many times it is a sinful quality that we all have, and it tends to leak into the most important parts of our lives, ultimately destroying a good thing.

Do I always like riding through the dealerships so that David can dream of a new truck? Maybe not, but he probably doesn't enjoy spending thirty minutes on the craft aisle at Walmart while I decide which shade of blue paint I like better. 

So, we compromise. 

I don't complain about riding through the dealerships {truthfully, I kind of like dreaming too.}

He doesn't complain about looking at everything on the craft aisle blue paint.

Selfishness. 

It has been and will be the source of many, many  failing relationships. I have seen it happen before my own eyes, and I know how it can rip apart a relationship for the worst. I often find myself wondering {even though I am not the judge}, "What if they had died a little more to themselves and become a little less selfish?" 

Does it really matter if you win the fight of eating at a Mexican restaurant or getting KFC to go? It's only ONE night. Couldn't you compromise to do one or the other next time you eat out?

Seriously, ya'll.. It's things like that that I will never understand. 

The same goes for when people go somewhere together. If the two of you have planned to go somewhere together, shouldn't the two of you plan to do things at your destination that both of you enjoy? Furthermore, shouldn't you both agree on the place you're going?

I don't, and suppose I will never, understand why people allow these dramatic and uncalled for details overcome every aspect of their life and relationship. 

Selflessness.

I'm by no means saying that my relationship with David is perfect, and I know I can be one of the most hard-headed individuals alive, but I also know that I have prayed and prayed for the person who will eventually become by husband, and firmly believing that person is David, I have made a promise to myself to be sure and enjoy the time we have dating. 

I have learned in the last year and a half that marriage is simply not going to happen for us until I complete my schooling. It will be easier to finish my degree and then marry because I want to be able to provide him with my full attention once we are married. Granted, we have a pretty sweet deal going now in that we can see each other every weekend, and we aren't too far away if something happens otherwise. That is the best decision for US. Of course, I wanted to be selfish about it. I want sometimes to say, "Who cares if we SHOULD get married now, I want to, so let's do it!" That just won't work. We would both love nothing more than that, but we are having to set aside our selfish ways and just enjoy the time that we have together now. 

Selflessness is not a way that I have mastered by any means, but I try to pride myself in being respectful of David's feelings, and I always try to make sure that I know what he wants to do when we go somewhere, and he does the same in turn for me. 

This doesn't go for just a "romantic" relationship, either. Selfishness/selflessness can be the base of a healthy/unhealthy friendship, too. It is truly what pushes people away or pulls them in. Recently, I connected with someone through the two of us reaching out to befriend one another. I, personally, had been selfish about not reaching out for almost a year. I didn't want to reach out for fear that I wouldn't be accepted or understood, and now because I set that feeling of fear and selfishness aside, a friendship is flourishing, and I am so excited about it. 

The examples I gave were small and minute compared to some that I have heard, but I believe that if you start with small things like: Where do YOU want to eat (after being asked where you want to go), or what do YOU want to do (when they have asked you what you wanted to do) can help lead to problem solving and selflessness on a bigger scale.

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I did not mean for that to snowball into what it did. Actually, when I pulled Blogger up today, I fully intended on just posting a few photos and talking about how much fun we've had, but as soon as I started typing it turned into what you've read above. Sometimes, as a lover of writing, that's the way it happens, and I just let it happen. I speak my heart when I do. I know that everyone is an individual, and everyone has their own ways and beliefs, and that is fine. I haven't meant to offend; I have just written about what I personally believe is true and working in my life and relationship.

SO! Onto a lighter topic. Whew! 

I will share some photos (in no particular order) of the past year and a half! 

We got our first "pet" together. A betta fish, Bill. 

We spent the entire FIRST Christmas break (2011) together alternating from his house to my house.

These above were taken on our One Year Anniversary by David's sister, Gabrielle. She isn't a photographer at all, but didn't she do a great job? We cherish these photos so much! They are some of my favorites that we have ever taken. Sure, they look like engagement shots, but they are not. :)

This was taken on the 4th of July (2012). We (Matt, David, and I) rode to Columbus in search of a swimming pool, and we rode out to Plymouth Bluff before coming home. 

Ultimately, this is what we came up with. My dad added the fan (on the right) to "provide a beach-like breeze", and we called it our "Redneck Oasis". For three individuals without a beach, lake, or river to be on, it was perfect. A wonderful memory, for sure!

We shot skeet!

We spent many summer weekends at our camphouse. 

(Is my redneck showing yet? Boots and shorts?)

We attended the Eli Young Band concert at the Dixie Nationals for Valentines Day. 

My heart was overwhelmed that day. 

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the EYB, and David suprised me with tickets. :)

We went to the beach in celebration of graduating from junior college. 

We spent the day there with our friends (who happened to be dating at the time and are now engaged). 

And we went back to the beach with my family during the middle of summer. Despite the top two photos, it rained the entire time we were there. These were taken in the late afternoon when there would be  break in the rain. Memories, again, ya'll.

We painted pumkins, 

celebrated birthdays, 

(ignore the cake - that's a post in itself!)

grew closer in relationships, 

and grew closer together. 

With everything awful going on in the world today, I find joy in what David and I share. I love that The Lord saw fit for us to be together at such a young age, and I love loving someone with my whole heart. I will admit to trying to find that real love before, but it cannot be searched for. It is simply found without one realizing it. 

October, 7, 2011

"You are the poem I never knew how to write, and this life is the story I always wanted to tell."

- T. K. Gregson